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  • Kitty O' Shea's, County Schuman, Brussels. Sipping the Sham-Rock, Tuesday March 17 2009 (Printed in full in today's Bulletin)
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EC Crash Test Dummies
Kudos to the Journal for highlighting the comedy beyond parody of the European Commission’s initiative ?, of reducing pedestrian road deaths while simultaneously tackling “emission impossible” of increasing the weight of vehicles via crumple zones while simultaneously demanding reduced nominal emissions.

It is a common perception in Brussels that the European Empire / Commission exists in it’s own world cut off from it’s laws of unintended consequence as nearly all EC directives result in. Process is progress and progress is process and never the twain shall meet. After all, it’s dyslexia extends to being unable to differentiate between a front loaded subsidy and an amortized tax break/credit on Boeing vs Airbus. Any directive aimed at ground vehicles safety and emissions standards simultaneously is likely to be even less useful than their Motorcycle Ashtray Directorate.

Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso emits hot air about another lofty environmental target going the way of all other meaningless Kyoto type targets. He exempts himself from his comfort principles, driving his own gas guzzling Selfish User Vehicle, in Commission tradition.

The Commission’s “ballyhooed” 2005 rule setting minimum heights between hoods and engines to soften the impact when a pedestrian’s head hits a personal vehicle’s hood leaving more design “crumple room”, is it’s piece de resistance, through the path of least cranial resistance. By the time a pedestrian’s head hits a hood to crumple it from a collision, they will most likely be visible in that vehicle’s rear view mirror on a ballistic trajectory aiming for the hood of a following vehicle.

The Commission head-banger/crash dummy is most likely to be an ECET dimensioned figure, except that ET had a better grasp of Planet Earth. Though Commission crash test dummy skulls could be marginally thicker in the Motorcycle Ashtray Directorate, the Commission would serve Europe a lot better by Committing less and Omitting more.

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